Where to begin? Life...Drama.. a Test?

Drama = desperately reaching after more attention

There’s going to be a dark period in your life where your values and beliefs- basically everything that makes up who you are- are going to be challenged. Maybe it’s through an argument or through negative happenings in your life. Sometimes, in this period, we find that we are strong and can get through this or just want to give up the flight. Maybe the people around us will judge us for letting ourselves be who we are. But then we realize that maybe this is not only a test for ourselves, but also for the people that are in our lives. The right people will stay and be there for you. And know that you will eventually rise from it.

I’ve learned a lot about myself these past few years and about others. I grew up with catholic beliefs and stuck to them for the longest. Until a year and 3 months when I was learning about the LDS Church. Now I have been an LDS member for 1month & 3 week. In all honesty I care a lot about what other people think, but I’ve always been that person. I always cared about what my parents, friends, teachers, and people I don’t know, thought. Being that person that cared too much, I always felt the need to uphold that standard that everyone has already set for me. And because I am naturally a “people pleaser,” I never really had problems with anyone. But now I’m starting not to care and live my life how I want to.

I know for a fact that I will always have those values that I got taught as a child. I stuck to them when people lost them in the chaos that is middle school or the beginning of high school. Ugh I hated high school but I grew closer to god my junior year. I’m just realizing now that these experiences and events that occurred might have had a negative effect on my life, but I can’t deny that it also had a positive effect. I’m seeing more and more the type of person I want in my life and the ones that I don’t because of these experiences.

I just have to realize that people are going to hate whether or not you did something to them. We simply cannot please everyone with the way we live. Let them waste their time talking about you. Unfortunately some people grew up learning about hate and war instead of love and peace, or they have learned from other people as they got older, and they’re past the point of no return. Forget about those people. Continue living your life the way you want to. The best thing to do is to continue being your self and hope for the best. If people don’t like you, that’s okay. The right people will like you just fine. There’s no need for all these complications. At the end of the day all you really have is yourself, and if you’re happy with where you’re at then nothing else matters.

I know I am more than what these stupid people make of me. But I’m going to stay true and live by the saying “happiness is not a destination, it’s a state of being.”

My 10^th grade year I could say was the best year in high school. I had my best friend Uriel. We were like nail & dirt together. His mom was my second mom. He was like a brother to me. He saved my life when I turn 15. If it weren’t for him I wouldn’t be here right now. Until, my other best friend started to like him. I felt like a 3^rd wheel. The rumors started to go around that I wanted to take him away from her. She knew I had a big crush on his brother but she still listened to the crowd. Summer came around and they got together. We didn’t talk much. She wouldn’t let him talk to me. That summer was the end of it. I had lost my brother. I fell into depression; I couldn’t find the way out. Until I started to pay attention at church and god helped me find a way out. I loved him like a brother and I still do even though now I just see him once a month.  I lost him for 5 years. Thats one thing I do regret that I didn't fight for him. I texted him and this is what he texted back "Well, I think the rumors were only a small part of the reason that we broke apart, I didn't care too much about what other people thought. I believed your word. Honestly What split us up more was kim. I don't mean to point fingers, because I shouldn't have  let you go because of her, especially when all she said were lies in the first place, but that's what really broke us off."  It just takes only one person to mess up a friendship but at the end we still have that bond that was there in 10^th grade.

Maybe god is testing me to flight for the people who really matter and who have brought good to my life. I lost a person once and now I’m getting a second chance to not mess things up because of a dumb rumor… I have met so many people in my life  & you know when people are meant to be in your life forever. There is a strong bond between us that you can't explain with words. But  you know you want to keep them forever. I feel so blessed because I have these people in my life. And for people that are trying to bring me down && try to ruin my life. You lose!!! I have amazing people by my side. <3 Now get out of my head because you are using up space.